قِيلَ:It was said:
It was said:
أَهْدَىgiftedنُعَيْمَانُNu'aymanالْأَنْصَارِيُّthe Ansariteإِلَىtoرَسُولِthe Messengerاللَّهِ،of Allah,صَلَّىmay Allahاللَّهُblessعَلَيْهِhimوَسَلَّمَ،and grant him peace,جَرَّةَa jarعَسَلٍof honey
Nu'ayman al-Ansari gifted to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, a jar of honey,
وَكَانَتْand it wasفِيهِin itدُعَابَةٌa jest
and there was a jest in it,
وَكَانَand he hadاشْتَرَاهَاbought itمِنْfromأَعْرَابِيٍّa Bedouinبِدِينَارٍfor a dinar.
and he had bought it from a Bedouin for a dinar.
وَأَتَىAnd he broughtبِالْأَعْرَابِيِّthe Bedouinإِلَىtoبَابِthe doorرَسُولِof the Messengerاللَّهِ،of Allah,صَلَّىmay Allahاللَّهُblessعَلَيْهِhimوَسَلَّمَ،and grant him peace,
And he brought the Bedouin to the door of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace,
وَقَالَand saidلَهُ:to him:خُذْ"Takeالثَّمَنَthe priceمِنْfromهَاهُنَا.here."
and said to him: "Take the price from here."
فَلَمَّاSo whenقَسَمَهَاdivided itرَسُولُthe Messengerاللَّهِ،of Allah,صَلَّىmay Allahاللَّهُblessعَلَيْهِhimوَسَلَّمَ،and grant him peace,بَيْنَamongنِسَائِهِ،his wives,
So when the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, divided it among his wives,
قَالَsaidلَهُto himالْأَعْرَابِيُّ:the Bedouin:أَعْطِنِي"Give me,يَاOرَسُولَMessengerاللَّهِof Allah,ثَمَنَthe price ofالْعَسَلِ.the honey."
the Bedouin said to him: "Give me, O Messenger of Allah, the price of the honey."
فَقَالَ،So he said,عَلَيْهِupon himالسَّلَامُ:be peace:هَذِهِ"This isإِحْدَىoneهَنَاتِof the pranks ofنُعَيْمَانَ.Nu'ayman."
So he, upon him be peace, said: "This is one of the pranks of Nu'ayman."
وَسَأَلَهُ:And he asked him:لِمَ"Whyفَعَلْتَ؟did you do this?"
And he asked him: "Why did you do this?"
فَقَالَ:He said:أَرَدْتُ"I wantedأَنْtoأُبَرِّكَbring you blessing,يَاOرَسُولَMessengerاللَّهِof Allah,وَلَمْand there wasيَكُنْnotمَعِيwith meشَيْءٌ.anything."
He said: "I wanted to bring you blessing, O Messenger of Allah, and I had nothing with me."
فَتَبَسَّمَSo smiledرَسُولُthe Messengerاللَّهِ،of Allah,صَلَّىmay Allahاللَّهُblessعَلَيْهِhimوَسَلَّمَ،and grant him peace,
So the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, smiled,
وَأَعْطَىand gaveالْأَعْرَابِيَّthe Bedouinحَقَّهُ.his due.
and gave the Bedouin his due.
وَعَنِAnd on the authority ofالْهَيْثَمِal-Haytham,قَالَ:he said:
And on the authority of al-Haytham, he said:
قَدِمَArrivedتَمِيمٌTamimالدَّارِيُّal-Dariمِنَfromالشَّامِthe Levant
Tamim al-Dari arrived from the Levant,
وَكَانَand he wasتَاجِراًa merchant.
and he was a merchant.
فَأَتَاهُSo came to himنُعَيْمَانُNu'aymanوَقَالَand saidلَهُ:to him:هَلْ"Wouldلَكَyou likeفِيinغُلَامٍa slave boy,تَاجِرٍa merchant,لَهُwho hasفَضْلٌexcellenceوَدِينٌ؟and religion?"
Nu'ayman came to him and said: "Would you like a slave boy, a merchant, who has excellence and religion?"
قَالَ:He said:وَكَيْفَ"And howلِيcan Iبِهِ؟have him?"
He said: "And how can I have him?"
قَالَ:He said:إِنَّهُ"Indeed,إِنْifعَلِمَhe knowsبِبَيْعِنَاof our sellingإِيَّاهُhim,لَمْyou willتَنْتَفِعْnot benefitبِهِfrom him.
He said: "Indeed, if he knows of our selling him, you will not benefit from him.
وَلَكِنِButانْطَلِقْset outمَعِيwith meحَتَّىuntilأُرِيَكَهُI show him to you,فَإِنَّهُfor he isعِنْدَنَاwith usبِمَنْزِلَةِin the status ofالْوَلَدِ.a son."
But set out with me until I show him to you, for he is with us in the status of a son."
قَالَ:He said:فَأَدْخَلَهُSo he entered him intoالْمَسْجِدَthe mosqueوَأَرَاهُand showed himسُوَيْبِطَSuwaibitبْنَson ofعَبْدِAbdالْعُزَّى.al-Uzza.
He said: So he entered him into the mosque and showed him Suwaibit ibn Abd al-Uzza.
فَنَظَرَSo lookedإِلَيْهِat himتَمِيمٌTamim,فَأَعْجَبَهُand he pleased him,فَقَالَ:and he said:بِكَمْ؟"How much?"
Tamim looked at him, and he pleased him, and he said: "How much?"
قَالَ:He said:بِمِائَةِ"For one hundredدِينَارٍ.dinars."
He said: "For one hundred dinars."
قَالَ:He said:هِيَ"It isلَكَ.yours."
He said: "It is yours."
فَأَخَذَSo he tookمِنْهُfrom himالْمِائَةَthe hundredالدِّينَارَ.dinars.
So he took the hundred dinars from him.
فَلَمَّاWhenحَضَرَdrew nearشُخُوصُهُhis departure,أَتَىhe came toنُعَيْمَانَNu'aymanفَقَالَ:and said:الْغُلَامَ."The slave boy."
When his departure drew near, he came to Nu'ayman and said: "The slave boy."
فَمَضَىSo he wentمَعَهُwith himإِلَىtoالْمَسْجِدِthe mosqueوَقَالَ:and said:دُونَكَ"Takeالْغُلَامَ.the slave boy."
So he went with him to the mosque and said: "Take the slave boy."
فَجَاءَSo cameتَمِيمٌTamimوَسُوَيْبِطٌwhile Suwaibitيُصَلِّيwas praying,فَصَلَّىand he prayedإِلَىatجَانِبِهِhis sideرَكْعَتَيْنِtwo rak'ahs,
Tamim came while Suwaibit was praying, and he prayed two rak'ahs at his side,
ثُمَّthenقَالَhe saidلَهُ:to him:خَفِّفْ."Make it brief."
then he said to him: "Make it brief."
فَخَفَّفَSo he made it briefوَقَالَand saidلَهُ:to him:مَا"Whatحَاجُتُكَ؟is your need?"
So he made it brief and said to him: "What is your need?"
قَالَ:He said:قَدْ"Indeedبَاعَكَhas sold youأَهْلُكَyour familyمِنِّي.to me."
He said: "Your family has sold you to me."
قَالَ:He said:وَأَيُّ"And whichأَهْلِي؟family of mine?"
He said: "And which family of mine?"
فَارْتَفَعَSo roseالْكَلَامُthe voicesبَيْنَهُمَاbetween themحَتَّىuntilخَرَجَcame outرَسُولُthe Messengerاللَّهِ،of Allah,صَلَّىmay Allahاللَّهُblessعَلَيْهِhimوَسَلَّمَ،and grant him peace,
So the voices rose between them until the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, came out
وَقَالَ:and said:مَا"Whatشَأْنُكُمْ؟is your matter?"
and said: "What is your matter?"
قَالَSaidتَمِيمٌ:Tamim:يَا"OرَسُولَMessengerاللَّهِof Allah,بَاعَنِيِهِsold him to meأَهْلُهُ.his family."
Tamim said: "O Messenger of Allah, his family sold him to me."
فَقَالَ،So said,صَلَّىmay Allahاللَّهُblessعَلَيْهِhimوَسَلَّمَ:and grant him peace:إِنِّي"Indeed IلَأَظُنُّthinkأَنَّthatنُعَيْماًNu'aymanصَاحِبُهُ،is his companion,عَلَيَّbringبِهِ.him to me."
So he, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "Indeed I think that Nu'ayman is his companion, bring him to me."
فَلَمَّاWhenجَاءَhe came,قَالَhe saidلَهُ:to him:وَيْحَكَ"Woe to you,مَاwhatهَذِهِ؟is this?"
When he came, he said to him: "Woe to you, what is this?"
قَالَ:He said:بِأَبِي"May my fatherأَنْتَyouوَأُمِّيand my motherيَاbe ransom for you, OرَسُولَMessengerاللَّهِ!of Allah!
He said: "May my father and my mother be ransom for you, O Messenger of Allah!
تَزَوَّجْتُI marriedامْرَأَةًa womanوَلَمْand there wasيَكُنْnotعِنْدِيwith meنَفَقَةٌmaintenanceوَلَاnorصَدَاقٌdowryأَدْفَعُهُthat I could payإِلَيْهَاto her,وَلَمْand I foundأَجِدْnotإِلَّاexceptمَاwhatرَأَيْتَ.you saw."
I married a woman and I had no maintenance or dowry to pay to her, and I found nothing except what you saw."
فَتَبَسَّمَSo smiledرَسُولُthe Messengerاللَّهِ،of Allah,صَلَّىmay Allahاللَّهُblessعَلَيْهِhimوَسَلَّمَ،and grant him peace,
So the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, smiled,
وَقَالَand saidلِتَمِيمٍ:to Tamim:هِيَ"He isلَكَyoursعِنْدَنَا.with us."
and said to Tamim: "He is yours with us."
وَذَكَرُواAnd they mentionedأَنَّthatنُعَيْماًNu'aymanمَرَّpassedذَاتَoneيَوْمٍdayبِمَخْرَمَةَby Makhramahبْنِson ofنَوْفَلٍNawfalالزُّهْرِيِّal-Zuhri,الضَّرِيرِthe blind,فِيinالْمَسْجِدِ،the mosque,
And they mentioned that Nu'ayman passed by Makhramah ibn Nawfal al-Zuhri, the blind, in the mosque one day,
فَقَالَand he saidلَهُto himمَخْرَمَةُ:Makhramah:خُذْ"Takeبِيَدِيmy handحَتَّىuntilأَبُولَ.I urinate."
and Makhramah said to him: "Take my hand until I urinate."
فَأَخَذَSo he tookبِيَدِهِhis handحَتَّىuntilإِذَاwhenكَانَhe wasفِيinأَقْصَىthe farthest part ofالْمَسْجِدِthe mosque,قَالَhe saidلَهُ:to him:اجْلِسْ."Sit down."
So he took his hand until when he was in the farthest part of the mosque, he said to him: "Sit down."
فَجَلَسَSo he satيَبُولُ.urinating.
So he sat urinating.
فَصَاحَThen shoutedبِهِat himالنَّاسُ:the people:يَا"OأَبَاAbuالْمِسْوَرِal-Miswar,إِنَّكَyou areفِيinالْمَسْجِدِ!the mosque!"
The people shouted at him: "O Abu al-Miswar, you are in the mosque!"
قَالَ:He said:وَمَنْ"And whoقَادَنِي؟led me?"
He said: "And who led me?"
قَالُوا:They said:نُعَيْمَانُ."Nu'ayman."
They said: "Nu'ayman."
قَالَ:He said:وَاللَّهِ"By Allah,لَأَضْرِبَنَّهُI will surely beat himبِعَصَايَwith this stick of mineهَذِهِthisإِنْifوَجَدْتُهُ.I find him."
He said: "By Allah, I will surely beat him with this stick of mine if I find him."
فَأَتَاهُSo came to himنُعَيْمَانُNu'aymanوَقَالَand saidلَهُ:to him:يَا"OأَبَاAbuالْمِسْوَرِal-Miswar,هَلْwouldلَكَyou likeفِيNu'ayman?نُعَيْمَانَ؟Nu'ayman?
So Nu'ayman came to him and said: "O Abu al-Miswar, would you like Nu'ayman?"
قَالَ:He said:نَعَمْ."Yes."
He said: "Yes."
قَالَ:He said:فَأَخَذَSo he tookبِيَدِهِhis handحَتَّىuntilأَوْقَفَهُhe made him standعَلَىbyعُثْمَانَUthmanبْنِson ofعَفَّانَAffan
He said: So he took his hand until he made him stand by Uthman ibn Affan
وَهُوَwhile heخَلِيفَةٌwas the Caliph,وَتَنَحَّىand he stepped awayعَنْهُ،from him,فَعَلَاهُso he raised it against himبِعَصَاتِهِwith his stickضَرْباً.striking him.
while he was the Caliph, and he stepped away from him, so he raised his stick against him, striking him.
فَصَاحَThen shoutedبِهِat himالنَّاسُ:the people:ضَرَبْتَ"You have beatenأَمِيرَthe Commanderالْمُؤْمِنِينَ!of the Faithful!"
The people shouted at him: "You have beaten the Commander of the Faithful!"
قَالَ:He said:وَمَنْ"And whoقَادَنِي؟led me?"
He said: "And who led me?"
قَالُوا:They said:نُعَيْمَانُ."Nu'ayman."
They said: "Nu'ayman."
قَالَ:He said:لَا"Noجَرَمَdoubt,لَاI will notتَعَرَّضْتُexpose myselfلَهُto himأَبَداً.ever again."
He said: "No doubt, I will never expose myself to him ever again."
[مِزَاحُ[The Jests ofالشُّعَرَاءِ]the Poets]
[The Jests of the Poets]
قِيلَ:It was said:دَخَلَEnteredأَبُوAbuدُلَامَةَDulamahعَلَىuponالْمَهْدِيِّal-Mahdi,فَسَلَّمَand he greeted himثُمَّthenقَعَدَsat downوَأَرْخَىand let looseعَيْنَيْهِhis eyesبِالْبُكَاءِ.with weeping.
It was said: Abu Dulamah entered upon al-Mahdi, and he greeted him, then sat down and let loose his eyes with weeping.
فَقَالَSo saidلَهُ:to him:مَا"Whatلَكَ؟is the matter with you?"
So he said to him: "What is the matter with you?"
قَالَ:He said:مَاتَتْ"Has diedأُمُّUmmدُلَامَةَ.Dulamah."
He said: "Umm Dulamah has died."
فَقَالَ:So he said:إِنَّا"Indeed toلِلَّهِAllahوَإِنَّاand indeed to Himإِلَيْهِweرَاجِعُونَ!return!"
So he said: "Indeed to Allah we belong and indeed to Him we return!"
وَدَخَلَتْAnd enteredلَهُinto himرِقَّةٌtendernessلَمَّاwhenرَأَىhe sawمِنْofجَزَعِهِ،his grief,
And tenderness entered into him when he saw of his grief,
فَقَالَso he saidلَهُ:to him:أَعْظَمَ"May Allah magnifyاللَّهُAllahأَجْرَكَyour rewardيَاOأَبَاAbuدُلَامَةَ!Dulamah!
so he said to him: "May Allah magnify your reward, O Abu Dulamah!
وَأَمَرَAnd he orderedأَنْthatيُعْطَىhe be givenأَلْفَone thousandدِرْهَمٍdirhams,وَقَالَand saidلَهُ:to him:اسْتَعِنْ"Seek helpبِهَاtherebyفِيinمُصِيبَتِكَ.your calamity."
And he ordered that he be given one thousand dirhams, and said to him: "Seek help thereby in your calamity."
فَأَخَذَهَاSo he took themوَدَعَاand prayedلَهُfor himوَانْصَرَفَ.and departed.
So he took them and prayed for him and departed.
فَلَمَّاWhenدَخَلَhe enteredإِلَىintoمَنْزِلِهِhis house,قَالَhe saidلِأُمِّto Ummدُلَامَةَ:Dulamah:اذْهَبِي"Goفَاسْتَأْذِنِيand ask permissionعَلَىto seeالْخَيْزُرَانِal-Khayzuran,
When he entered his house, he said to Umm Dulamah: "Go and ask permission to see al-Khayzuran,
فَإِذَاand whenدَخَلْتِyou enterعَلَيْهَاupon her,فَتَبَاكِيfeign weepingوَقُولِيand say,مَاتَ'Has diedأَبُوAbuدُلَامَةَ."Dulamah.'
and when you enter upon her, feign weeping and say, 'Abu Dulamah has died.'
فَمَضَتْSo she wentوَاسْتَأْذَنَتْand asked permissionعَلَىto seeالْخَيْزُرَانِ،al-Khayzuran,فَأَذِنَتْand she gave permissionلَهَا،to her.
So she went and asked permission to see al-Khayzuran, and she gave permission to her.
فَلَمَّاWhenاطْمَأَنَّتْshe settled,أَرْسَلَتْshe let looseعَيْنَهَاher eyeبِالْبُكَاءِ،with weeping,فَقَالَتْso saidلَهَا:to her:مَا"Whatلَكِ؟is the matter with you?"
When she settled, she let loose her eye with weeping, so al-Khayzuran said to her: "What is the matter with you?"
فَقَالَتْ:She said:مَاتَ"Has diedأَبُوAbuدُلَامَةَ.Dulamah."
She said: "Abu Dulamah has died."
فَقَالَتْ:So she said:إِنَّا"Indeed toلِلَّهِAllahعَظَّمَmay Allah magnifyاللَّهُAllahأَجْرَكِ!your reward!"
So she said: "Indeed to Allah we belong, may Allah magnify your reward!"
وَتَوَجَّعَتْAnd she expressed griefلَهَاfor herثُمَّthenأَمَرَتْorderedلَهَاfor herبِأَلْفَيْtwo thousandدِرْهَمٍ،dirhams,فَدَعَتْso she prayedلَهَاfor herوَانْصَرَفَتْ.and departed.
And she expressed grief for her, then ordered for her two thousand dirhams, so she prayed for her and departed.
فَلَمْIt did notيَلْبَثِtarryالْمَهْدِيُّal-Mahdiأَنْthatدَخَلَhe enteredعَلَىuponالْخَيْزُرَانِ،al-Khayzuran,
Al-Mahdi did not tarry long before he entered upon al-Khayzuran,
فَقَالَتْ:and she said:يَا"Oسَيِّدِيmy master,أَمَاdid you notعَلِمْتَknowأَنَّthatأَبَاAbuدُلَامَةَDulamahمَاتَ؟has died?"
and she said: "O my master, did you not know that Abu Dulamah has died?"
قَالَ:He said:لَا"No,يَاOحَبِيبَتِيmy beloved,إِنَّمَاratherهِيَit isامْرَأَتُهُhis wifeأُمُّUmmدُلَامَةَ.Dulamah."
He said: "No, O my beloved, rather it is his wife Umm Dulamah."
قَالَتْ:She said:لَا"No,وَاللَّهِby Allah,إِلَّاit is none other thanأَبُوAbuدُلَامَةَ.Dulamah."
She said: "No, by Allah, it is none other than Abu Dulamah."
فَقَالَ:He said:خَرَجَ"He leftمِنْfromعِنْدِيmeالسَّاعَةَjustآنِفاً.now."
He said: "He left me just now."
فَقَالَتْ:She said:خَرَجْتُ"She leftمِنْfromعِنْدِيmeالسَّاعَةَ.just now."
She said: "She left me just now."
وَأَخْبَرَتْهُAnd she informed himبِخَبَرِهَاof her storyوَبُكَائِهَا.and her weeping.
And she informed him of her story and her weeping.
فَضَحِكَSo he laughedوَتَعَجَّبَand marveledمِنْatحِيلَهُمَا.their trickery.
So he laughed and marveled at their trickery.
قَالَ:He said:وَكَانَAnd Abu Nawas wasأَبُوAbuنُوَاسٍNawasوَلِعاًfond of teasingبِأَبِيAbuعُبَيْدَةَUbaidahمَعْمَرِMa'marبْنِson ofالْمُثَنَّىal-Muthannaالتَّيْمِيِّ،al-Taymi,
He said: Abu Nawas was fond of teasing Abu Ubaidah Ma'mar ibn al-Muthanna al-Taymi,
فَكَتَبَso he wroteعَلَىuponأُسْطُوانَةٍa pillarفِيinمَسْجِدٍa mosqueبِمِقْدَارِthe height ofقَامَةٍa statureوَبَسْطَةٍ:and a reach:
so he wrote upon a pillar in a mosque at the height of a man and a reach:
صَلَّى"May blessالْإِلَهُthe GodعَلَىLotلُوطٍandوَشِيعَتِهِhis followers,......أَبَاO AbuعُبَيْدَةَUbaidah,قُلْsayبِاللَّهِby AllahآمِينَاAmen.
"May the God bless Lot and his followers... O Abu Ubaidah, say by Allah, Amen.
فَأَنْتَFor you areعِنْدِيto meبِلَاwithoutشَكٍّdoubtبَقِيَّتُهُمْthe last of them......مُنْذُsinceاحْتَلَمْتَyou reached pubertyوَجَاوَزْتَand passedالثَّمَانِينَاeighty."
For you are to me without doubt the last of them... since you reached puberty and passed eighty."
فَقَالَSo he saidلِكَيْسَانَ:to Kisan:وَيْحَكَ"Woe to you,أَمَاdid you notرَأَيْتَseeهَذَاthisالْفَاجِرَwicked personوَمَاand whatصَنَعَ؟he has done?
So he said to Kisan: "Woe to you, did you not see this wicked person and what he has done?
قُمْRiseبِنَاwith usنَحُكَّهُto erase itلِئَلَّاso thatيَرَاهُmay not see itالنَّاسُ.the people."
Rise with us to erase it so that the people may not see it."
فَبَرَكَSo knelt downأَبُوAbuعُبَيْدَةَUbaidahوَرَكِبَهُand mounted himكَيْسَانُKisanلِيَحُكَّهُ.to erase it.
So Abu Ubaidah knelt down and Kisan mounted him to erase it.
فَلَمَّاWhenثَقُلَhe became heavyعَلَيْهِupon him,قَالَhe saidلَهُ:to him:أَوْجِزْ."Be quick."
When he became heavy upon him, he said to him: "Be quick."
فَقَالَSo saidلَهُto himكَيْسَانُ:Kisan:قَدْ"Alreadyبَقِيَremainedلُوطٌ.Lot."
Kisan said to him: "Lot has remained."
فَقَالَ:He said:عَجِّلْ"Hurryحَكَّهُto erase it,فَهُوَfor it isالْمَعْنَىthe intended meaningوَعَلَيْهِand upon itتَدُورُrevolvesفَضِيحَتِي.my scandal."
He said: "Hurry to erase it, for it is the intended meaning and upon it revolves my scandal."